Time Spent- 22m 21s
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Sometimes I feel super inadequate, I get really low on myself and I know I shouldn't. I feel like I am a good person? I constantly question why I end up having bad relationships, & becoming disappointed. I thought i was good at determining whether an individual was good for me or not but maybe I was wrong? I was with somebody not long ago, they were very special and important to me. I have never felt so strongly about someone in my life. The funny thing is I wasn't sure what I wanted at first when I met this person. I hadn't dated in a while, it made me nervous to try again. They were so certain about me and what they had wanted, I ended up falling for this person so hard. I truly thought everything was going well, but then we unexpectedly broke up. The very short version of the reasoning was they were having a hard time with who they are, needed to figure things out and it needed to happen independently. They felt they weren't putting in as much effort as i deserved. I had asked if they just wanted to be single, lost feelings and i was told "no, i swear on my dad." (their dad passed). As much as I did not want to lose this person, i was respectful of their decision because they had always been honest during our time together. I cared so much about this person, if somehow us breaking up was going to help I'd deal with the hurt. I just wanted them to be okay. About a month later I found out they were seeing somebody, I don't know how serious it was or the whole story and honestly I do not think I want to know. It has almost been 4 months total we've been apart and it's frustrating to be still upset over this person. I trusted them, thought so highly of them and when I found that out I felt anything and everything I was ever told was a lie. It's tiring to give your whole heart to someone for them to take advantage of it, and end up being someone completely different than the person you fell in love with. I know not every one is like this, I cant deny it makes me nervous to try again with someone, to trust someone again. Heartbreak hurts, that's all I can really say. :-(