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Is it all my fault?


I wasn't a good teenage girl. I was friendly. I have a lot of friends. But I don't smoke or drink alcoholic beverages (not saying that it's bad tho). I have my boyfriend for 5 months that time. He always tell me that I'm a bitch because of my past (a lot of boy -space- friends, and there were also chats with some guys. I can say some of it was flirty conversations but not dirty). Anyway, every time he remember my past he keeps on saying I'm a bitch, etc. One time, he told me that he doesn't believe he's my first kiss because I'm a bitch. Then one day, we had a fight. He told me I was just an honor student but I don't have talents and brain. I was hurt. I couldn't keep it all to myself. I made a dummy acc then a guy chatted me there. I wasn't talking to him at first. But then, he asked something (not about me), and I answered it. The conversation started. He shared stories about him that's when I told him my problem about my boyfriend. That I was hurt and such. I admit it's my fault. I flirted. My boyfriend found out and was so mad about him. Who wouldn't? He told me to just kill myself. After talking, we didn't broke up. He told me he will give me a chance again.


We were on our 9th month now and whenever we fight, he still can't forget what I did. He will still stay I should have just died or killed myself. He's insulting me through posting something that's related to what I did and say something that will surely hurt me.


I know it's my fault for flirting. But is it all mine?



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Re: Is it all my fault?

I have a simple question "should you be with someone who calls you names like bitch, liar, whore etc, especially basing it on assumptions?


I've been abused, I've abused, I've abused my abuser. Ive been cheated on many times by someone who calls me a cheater. These things are never healthy. If this is the foundation (first year), then it can only get worse. It took me 7.5 years, $67,000, 980 miles, a business and 2 families for me to understand that. PLEASE dont make the same mistake I did.

Girl, please! Go back and re-read what you have written after you read my response, child.

The situation that you have described is a toxic, abusive relationship.

You need to RUN not walk away from this boy.

It is clear that he has power and control issues, and as long as he can control your emotions and make you feel miserable, he is content.

He makes himself out to be a martyr, but I'll be straight with you, girl. Most times, these guys are not all upright and righteous. They're just fronting that way. As long as he can make you feel like everything is your fault, and that he is some sort of kind, generous guy to take you back, then he gets to control you.

He controls you further every time he decides to recall what he sees as your past "sins" so that he can degrade you, humiliate you and tell you to kill yourself.

Girl, I'm telling you, that aint love. He absolutely does NOT love you, no matter what he says.

Now re-read what you wrote, and trust me, child, you'll see that I'm right.

Leave him and move on with your life. Don't let him control you for another minute.

If he starts getting aggressive with you, which I will bet he will, you call the police and get a restraining order against him if you have to. You keep yourself as far away from him as possible.

Trust me, he's no good for you.

I don't know you at all, girl, but I know that no matter what you've ever done, you don't deserve to be treated the way that you have described. That's a fact.

Take care, girl, and don't let anyone take you down. You're worthy of better things.