Time Spent- 18m 36s
12 Visitors

is it me or them?

im a 13 year old stuck in a friend group with about 11 other girls, meaning i dont get too choose the people around me.. i was one of the last to enter this group because we went to different elementary schools and the same middle school. my old best friend whos in our group stabbed me in the back and betrayed me several times so i cut her off but now we talk but i watch how close i get with her. the problem is, i only like a few of them. like im talking 3/11. if im not in this group my other options are the furries or girls who hate me. i dont go places with them because i dont want to have to put on a show and pretend im having fun but when i dont i see tiktoks and selfies and pictures of everyone else but me and the thing is i get jealous. not because i wish i was there, but because i should want to go hang out with my friends instead of staying home all the time. i dont know what im going to do next year because my older friends are going to be in high school so i cant run to them either.. its like when i try to talk about it to my best friend i get a nice "ikr" or a "yeah" followed by a "life is pretty good rn bc im eating gummy worms." its funny ig but not when im crying. theres no one i can talk to. my mom is ready to ship me off to a therapist but i know what im going to get. the same meaningless words i always do. sure im dramatic but idk. are my standard too high? am i a judgy bitch? are my friends as toxic as i think they are?