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Is this love?

This is my first time to see this page and I'm in a way very happy because I have found a place to put into writing some of my thoughts and experiences that is not easy for me to share with anyone not even to my best friend, which I don't actually have.

What do we get when we fall inlove? It should be happiness, excitement and that feeling of security and contentment right? Yeah, maybe at first it was.

WE are Asian women, but I live in Asia but she lives in UK. Yes, maybe not you may think that this story is an lgbt story, well you're not mistaken it is.

Consideeingbour background our culture and the family we grew up with, I would say its a very typical traditional one. Growing up and I even studied in an all girls school but I never had experienced going into such kind of relationship.

So then after like my 4 decades I met her and it was my first time being woed. Not even by my ex husband (yes iwas married but not anymore). She made me fall inlove if that's really how you say it but I did fall inlove with her. A different emotion and feelings that I have never felt before. When I met her, we never spoke of her husband (yes she's married and still married). I thought, she was in a verge of divorce or I never, really thought that they were still living together with one daughter. But we already started our relationship. I felt so loved by her, she's very thoughtful and very calm. She stayed late until 3 or 4 am everyday just to spend time with me because of our time difference . But just recently she chat less, call. less but still assuring her love to me. Sometimes we have to talk secretly because she said her husband might hear her. She used to asked me to post her pictures on Instagram actually our pictures.. but now she's telling me not to tag her. but still she assures me of her love. And with all honesty, I love her. I know, it's wrong that we are having a relationship while she's married and I'm hurt with the fact that she lives with his husband. I feel jealous and I feel so hurt that I sometimes can't breath thinking that they might do things like a normal couple do.

Now, we often have misunderstanding because of jealousy.. she gets jealous of my other feroeign friend. I am so inlove with her that even if I wanted to get out of this pain.. I just can't because I have loved her so much. I don't know how our relationship will go but I'm hoping that we will continue to love. Do I have to stay or do I have to make my self realize something.. I'm so inlove that I'm hurting so much..