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It hurts

Sometimes I sit and think about how my mum use to hurt me and when she hurts my sisters, the things she use to say and what she still does. I still hear her voice in my head. Screaming. Shouting. Whispering. I hear my sisters screaming, begging for someone, anyone to come help. Nobody ever does. I feel guilty because I stopped trying to stop my mum hurting my sisters or myself because I knew she wouldn't stop. My sisters aren't strong enough. I wasnt strong enough. I'm still not strong enough. I still see and feel the hurt. I dont know what to do anymore. My head hurts so much. I wanna scream. I wanna shout. I barely sleep without nightmares. I want to tell people what she did and tell people who she is but it's so hard I dont feel like there is anyone I can trust or tell. But so long as I keep smiling and telling people I'm fine, I will be ok.