Hello, my name is Vayda, I am a 14 year old girl. Maybe when I was 10 or 11 is when I began to worry about what others thought of me and started seeing myself though their eyes. I tried fitting in in such a young age. Then I shut out my own voice. All I cared about was what others thought of me. My whole life I would get body shamed by my own family. They called me so many mean names. From pig to fatty. “You sure you wanna eat that” to “you should eat less”. I listened to them to become what they wanted for me. Soon I developed anorexia. I hate myself so much because of my own family. Lately it’s been so hard to feel good. It’s been hard to get up. It’s been hard to feel like if I’m worth my next breath. I wish people were nicer. Quarantine has got me doing nothing. It seems so frustrating to see other girls do nothing and look amazing. Crying has just become a big part of my life, a huge cycle. I try, I swear. But it feels like I start all over when I get somewhere.