I am sorry mom , I don't want you to be hurt by me or someone else . I have listened your struggles thousand times . But still you keep crying on them ,time and again . But today , I am upset from you . I slept in your arms yesterday but now I woke up to your scoldings . If you want us to get out of the bed , then you can calmly say that to us , but you were shouting like crazy , like last time . But after last time (1 or 2 days ago ) , you and dad were so calm that I thought you have changed , but no , neither of you are changed . But still I love you and I don't want you to cry because of me . I have done everything I could do to keep our family together . Whenever , even if it is your mistake and ego , I came to you first , I became the guilty , thinking that you will be calm after that . Whenever I was angry , I cried silently in my bed like now , because I don't want you to be hurt . Whenever my elder sister and you have some fight , I asked her to keep quiet even if you're wrong . Even if you're making a big deal out of little things . But now I am tired of all this and that's why I am writing this . I can't ask you to go to my reunion party because I know you will not allow it . I can't say my problems to you because you will never listen them like in the past and then you'll start talking about your childhood struggles and that you don't have a single person by your side in this world . And Idk why you always keep searching negativity in every situation . You say that you are spending a lot of money on us and still we are like this . But Idk how we're like . I am just like any other 18 yo girl in the world who have high grades without tuitions, no boyfriend , few friends , no guy friends , no class skipping ,ideal child in whole school . My school principal used to give my example to other kids in every school assembly . But to my parents , I am the worst daughter any mom and dad could have . It hurts my heart , I don't want your money , I want your love , appreciation. I want you to teach me what I don't know instead of scolding like the world's going to end . Other parents are jealous of them for having kids like us , other kids are jealous of me for being myself . But I don't want them to know about my life because then they will pity me . They think I am an arrogant girl because I don't talk to boys and because I don't go to parties with them , because I don't do any thing with them . But they don't know that I want to do everything but I can't do it . Even my parents don't put restrictions directly but I know they'll make a big deal if I do anything like this . And that's why my sister and my parents have many conflicts . Because she can't see these unmarked boundaries, or even if she knew , she does what she wants and living happily. And I am trying my best to become a good daughter for my parents , to make them say this one time that they love me and that I am upto their expectations. I want them to say that I am a good daughter. But what I got to listen that I am a worst daughter. But I will never give up , even if they'll give up on our relation, I will become a good daughter someday . Someday I will make them proud . Someday they will understand their mistakes and forgive me . I love you mom and dad . Please be polite to us , I can't handle your insults and your scoldings and your beatings . I am going to be mentally ill , if this doesn't stop .It'll be okay once I go to college. Please God make this coronavirus go , so that I can go to college , or at least, open my college and hostel , I want to go there . Please God help me . Why you're doing this to us ,God ??