I'm ready to die now. I told myself this morning and I am feeling so at ease and calm about my choice and my frame of mind. I haven't shared with my family and friends because they might feel sad, heartbroken, let down, or betrayed because I am truly ready to give up. The treatments aren't helping a lick and I know that it will be a matter of weeks or maybe a month or two, but I am ready. Everyday I feel weaker, less whole, less able and it's okay. I know some days I let go of reality entirely and I have definitely started to hate other people a lot more. There are so many out there who are filled with nothing and only want to spread it to others. I reject them. I reject everything around me because it isn't real. None of this is. So, I am ready to let go now. I will welcome death with open arms. Let's do this!