its completely my fault

my anxiety is getting worse day by day, i couldnt concentrate on my studies anymore, i feel too stressed, my appitete is reducing also, willingness to sleep also gone, i feel completely void, i dont know what to do anymore. i feel completely lost. unable to end, life and nothing is happening favorable to be . its getting too worse day by day , my exams are in 15 days and yet here i am still have the completed the syllabus , so arrogant and stupid of me, no one in my family know what i am going through, my parents dont know that i have suicidal thghts. i hate myself each min i am alive . i want to die but i couldnt. i failed as a daughter, i want to speak out with someone but couldnt do so with my family or my boyfriend. i have recently started using a website called chat 24 where i chat with stranger , i jst have normal talk and to some i have vent out my heart. but this site also have ppl for sext which is really irritating. but nothing is help me venting out myself in the chat or here , nothing is help , the thght of my death is not at all reducing , i feel like loser , a failure, worthless person , i lost the want to live , all i want is my death , i know it will hurt my parents but rather than having a loser and failure daughter they can be better off.

why i am i like this , when i had time y didnt i study?, y does my motivation to study goes off . y cant i study well like the old days , fully concentrated , why?

i hate myself so much. my parents are thinking that i am sitting and studying but the dont know that i am sitting in anxiety and prayer to god each min that i should die soon. i can never make them proud with attitude like mine. it really frustrating , i dont like to do anything, even songs dont interest me , nothing is keeping me distracted. i feel too pressured, its all my fault , an idiot like me doesnt deserve to be alive , i have wasted 6 months of my live ,i have started abusing myself, crusing my self , even self harm . i want to end this all. i feel like drowning in water as each day pass through. my self confidence are sinking.i dont know what to do anymore. i am feel so ashamed and angry with myself. i jst pray and wish that my life ends soon

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3 months ago

Re: its completely my fault

you aren't worthless and you aren't stupid a lot of people have trouble concentrating when they are stressed my advice would be to take a breather and take a say to relax do something you normally dont and try to enjoy it also reach out and talk to your parents because you aren't a failure of a daughter and i can garuntee that they don't think that and dont stress over stuff you think you cant do just do your absolute best and be proud of that no one will think less of you because atleast you tried because most people dont even try and as for the lack of motivation i also struggle with that the only thing i can tell you is push through that lack of motivation or try giving yourself motivation by saying to yourself that you cant do anything else until you get atleast a half hour of studying and lastly for self worth do yourself a favor and try this it helped me every night look in the mirror and tell yourself that you are amazing and that you matter and list one positive thing about yourself

3 months ago

Re: its completely my fault

Thanks to the person who replied. I will try what u hsve justed. Wishing you good luck for ur foth coming fsctors in ur life. May god bless u happiness and peace snd healthy life ....

I jst lost all chances of speaking to my parents they have already given enough chances.. it jst hurts to break them .. to let them down .. i have hardly 15 days for exam still i have an entire subject to complete ... It CA EXAM. ... Jst hoping for postponement as a selfish person