Sometimes I think to my myself that if my significant other leaves me, I’m going to kill them, and then myself. I love them so much that I don’t want to live without them, and the thought of them with anyone else makes me jealous to the point of almost rage. No one in my life knows that my psychosis has gotten to this point, they all think my therapy is working, but I actually stopped going a few weeks ago, and don’t take medication anymore. I know this is wrong, and I go through waves of feeling guilty because of these feelings followed by reassuring myself that it’s okay as long as nobody knows.

Sometimes I think to my myself that if my significant other leaves me, I’m going to kill them, and then myself. I love them so much that I don’t want to live without them, and the thought of them with anyone else makes me jealous to the point of almost rage. No one in my life knows that my psychosis has gotten to this point, they all think my therapy is working, but I actually stopped going a few weeks ago, and don’t take medication anymore. I know this is wrong, and I go through waves of feeling guilty because of these feelings followed by reassuring myself that it’s okay as long as nobody knows. 

me again, the person that wrote this. To anyone worried I’ll become violent and hurt someone, I have a strong control over myself, and I do pray to help myself come to healthier outcomes, and I do vent about other stresses to my loved ones. I will not actually commit an act of violence, just something my bipolar with psychotic feature filled brain sometimes thinks about

me again, the person that wrote this. To anyone worried I’ll become violent and hurt someone, I have a strong control over myself, and I do pray to help myself come to healthier outcomes, and I do vent about other stresses to my loved ones. I will not actually commit an act of violence, just something my bipolar with psychotic feature filled brain sometimes thinks about

Re: It’s either us or no one at all

I'm dealing with PTSD, Acute Generalized Anxiety, Bipolar Depression and suicidal Ideation. I've never really wanted to hurt someone but I do want to jump in front of a bus.. So I don't understand what you're going through, but I can guess. My stepmom cheated on my dad and somehow twisted it so he felt at fault. He begged for forgiveness and begged her to take him back. When I found out.... I wanted to punch her in the face and not stop until we were both bloody. I wanted to kill her. But I can't. Because I don't actually want to kill someone I want her to feel his pain, I want her to feel my pain, she made my life hell growing up. I wanted her to feel my pain. Still do. I hope you find the root cause of these intrusive thoughts and can work through it. I do encourage you to go back to therapy. While it may be a struggle it helps. I begged for therapy growing up. I wanted help because I knew something was wrong and I didn't know how to fix it on my own. I would've gladly slept on the floor or outside if I could go to therapy and get mental meds. But my step mom and my dad never did it. They got mad at me for not being grateful. Please. Take advantage of what you have. From one person struggling to another. Every little bit helps. Going to therapy may not magically make everything better, but it does help to know that you aren't alone and it helps to have someone to talk to. Please consider going back to therapy. And stay strong. You're not alone.

I'm dealing with PTSD, Acute Generalized Anxiety, Bipolar Depression and suicidal Ideation. I've never really wanted to hurt someone but I do want to jump in front of a bus..So I don't understand what you're going through, but I can guess.My stepmom cheated on my dad and somehow twisted it so he felt at fault. He begged for forgiveness and begged her to take him back.When I found out.... I wanted to punch her in the face and not stop until we were both bloody. I wanted to kill her.But I can't. Because I don't actually want to kill someone I want her to feel his pain, I want her to feel my pain, she made my life hell growing up. I wanted her to feel my pain.Still do.I hope you find the root cause of these intrusive thoughts and can work through it. I do encourage you to go back to therapy. While it may be a struggle it helps.I begged for therapy growing up. I wanted help because I knew something was wrong and I didn't know how to fix it on my own. I would've gladly slept on the floor or outside if I could go to therapy and get mental meds. But my step mom and my dad never did it. They got mad at me for not being grateful.Please. Take advantage of what you have. From one person struggling to another.Every little bit helps. Going to therapy may not magically make everything better, but it does help to know that you aren't alone and it helps to have someone to talk to. Please consider going back to therapy.And stay strong.You're not alone.