I'm on here again. This website is starting to become an addiction for me, I really don't think it's healthy. Still, I begin typing almost every week as my tears blur my words. It's just been a really bad week.School is just way too much for me to bear. Cheer tryouts are on Friday, I have a chemistry test tomorrow, and I have 3 essays due tonight. To top it all off, my grandma is in the hospital with both pneumonia and COVID, and she's on a ventilator in a coma. I'm really scared she's not going to make it. And you know what I did about it? I shut myself in my room sobbing, and cut stripes up and down my hips with an eyebrow razor. How selfish is that? To make someone else's suffering about me like the attention whore I am? It didn't even make me feel better. In fact, I think I feel so much worse- and a little dizzy. It's just been a really bad week.