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Its not my story

My sister died before I was born. She was shot through her bedroom window because my parents are a biracial couple. I was never there, I never knew her. Yet I still struggle to sleep at night some days. I always think about how someone will walk up tl my bedroom window, take a gun, and kill me. Some nights i dont sleep, others I cry until i sleep. I take my curtains and duck tape them down to the wall so the dont open. Im terrified, but i feel guilty for feeling this way. Im alive, im not hurt, nor did i know my sister that passed. I never experienced such a thing, and i feel bad for feeling like i did.