I just want to give up. It's supposed to be a happy time during the year but I'm far from it. I try so hard to survive and it's never enough. Nothing ever works in my favor. In fact, it's as of I have a storm cloud following me or have been cursed with bad luck. I'm tired and don't have much, if any, fight left. I'm mentally distraught and am thinking of doing the inevitable. Leaving this life behind. My problems are that of an unclimbable mountain. There's no way out of this darkness. I think I'm going to end it all after Christmas and before the new year. I will be left in this shitty year forever and the memory of me wil be the only thing that goes on.