I struggle with finding happiness and opening up to people about my problems. I deal with suicidal thoughts and many insecurities that I try to hide from others and myself. I'm so tired of spending every day doing the same thing over and over and over again hoping that someday something or someone will change my life for the better. I feel guilty about these feelings because I feel other people have been in worse situations and the fact I cannot deal with these problems on my own is a horrible thing, I feel mentally weak and even though I try to solve everything by myself, I secretly hope that someone will notice how I truly feel and save me. I hope and hope everyday that things get better and better and I'm just tired. I can't help but feel guilt and negative thoughts. It gets so much harder everyday and I can't find it within my to talk about how I feel to anyone because of multiple reasons. I look for happiness but all I can seem to find is the bad things about life, even when I try and be as optimistic as possible. Every one of these feelings have gotten more intense recently and I don't know how much longer I can take.