4 months ago
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Ive got a bottle of poison, so why am I hesitating

I've had a plan to end my life but I'm still waiting for something? Idk, I stopped taking my meds a week ago and I am waiting to fall into a depression to pull it off. Even not depressed, I'm ready to die. I haven't had a bad life, not a good life, but a meaningless life. I really have done everything that I've wanted and I'm ready, but just got to wait for a depression to come into play.





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4 months ago

Re: Ive got a bottle of poison, so why am I hesitating

You should have a purpose in your life. Read Ikigai book, this is what you need right now. And you are wonderful person, everything will be alright. Try helping others, sometimes you get happiness from the happiness of others. You are loved and will always be loved. Look around you, there is so much positivity, nature heals everything with time. Life is a wonderful gift, we are lucky to have it, it teaches us so many amazing things


Americans watch too much TV. Whose life is important? Think of some famous folks. Let’s try LeBron. My nephew loves him. James gets paid millions of dollars to dribble a round ball on a gym floor in his shorts. At his age I was much stronger & faster. My IQ is very much higher.

He’s fairly athletic for a tall person. Most tall people are not athletic. I used to bench about 600; squat about 800. I ran 30 miles every week. I could do standing flips. He does not impress me.

I built crap that went to Mars. I’m not important. He plays a child’s game. He’s not important.

But I used to help people in wrecks. I’ve saved lives. That’s important.

You could do that. You volunteer. They train you. You help.

My kids volunteer to back food for poor kids at our Church. You could do that.

You can volunteer to help at a center for disabled children. You can clean the building in off hours. I used to goto yard sales. I’d buy children’s toys & games. Coloring books. I’d goto back to school sales & buy supplies. I’d give this stuff to a school for autistic children.

I’d mail money to homeless shelters. If you’ve never had a purpose in life, find one.

There are plenty of evil people in the world. Some of them kill others.

There are a lot of depressed people like us in the world. We are sad because we have kind souls. We care. Our little lights are the only hope in this dark world. Why put out your light? Make a small difference when you can. I once re-plumbers a poor woman’s house. I’ve helped disabled people to their car & loaded their groceries.

I gave a boy CPR & saved him. I’ve met his kids yrs later.

We all matter. Don’t be selfish & throw your life away.


You have so much to live for. If your looking for a sign this is it. DONT DO IT. You may feel like you’re at a point in your life where there is nothing to live for but there is sooo much out there in the world and many experiences that u may have never done. It is a tough time right now and everything may feel meaning less but think about all the small victories and even the littlest things that make you happyyy. There is so much more to life, you just need time to figure out your purpose and maybe try taking on new hobbies or interest to get you going. Stay strong you got this!!