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I’m not one to ever feel sorry for myself. I’ve been through so much but I never let it affect me. Growing up, I had a chaotic childhood. My parents abused each other, my oldest brother abused me and my other two siblings. I was in a 4 year relationship with a physically and emotionally abusive prick. I was raped my senior year by a college guy. My parents also divorced that year which led to my mom getting into meth and my dad becoming even more of an alcoholic. Oh yeah, I found out about my mom doing meth by seeing her jail booking on Facebook. Then I was in a mass shooting, Route 91 in Las Vegas, I somehow didn’t get injured thank goodness. Just my god damn luck at this point. My oldest brother, we will call him Jack, was bad into drugs and shot my uncle; he went to prison. A lot of other bad shit has happened to me that I probably forgot. But the absolute worst fucking thing in my life happened on August 18th 2019. My brother, my fucking best friend, killed himself. Just gone. After that day, nothing else mattered. That’s the day I realized I focused too much on myself and not enough on him. He felt like nobody cared about him BUT WE DID. We didn’t show it enough. He didn’t even feel comfortable with telling us how he felt. I’m not a good writer but for the love of god put aside whatever shit you have been through and fucking pay attention to your loved ones. Stop having so much pity for yourself that it takes the focus off of the ones who matter.