Jelousy

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Through my friends, about 6-7 months ago, they introduced me to someone who had just moved to our school. We didn't really talk for awhile until one day she started about the series I would always talk about, so we started talking and now I'd say she's my best friend. And resently I started to realise that I liked her romanticly, which normally wouldn't be an issue, but she's dating one of the other dudes in the group. I started to try to do my normal ignore the feelings until they go away but my brain wouldn't forget. I've gotten feeling for a close friend, multiple times in fact, but this times diffrent. I'm jelous of her boyfriend, not because he doesn't deserve her, he's a great guy, but because I want to be in his position. I also found out just how clingy I get, I knew I was clingy but this was so much worse. She got stuck in a diffrent provence due to covid and had to stay there for three weeks, I have never felt that awful in a long time, I had relised just how much I fell for her. The day after she got home, when she went back to school, was by far one of the happiest days in the recent years of my life. I just want to tell her just how much she means to me but I'm so paranoid that I'll somehow ruin her current relationship, because he makes her happy, and I don't want to ruin that.





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