JFC Idk. I hurt. I cry. I still hurt?

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Oh...uh. I just found this website. And wow, this is a good idea for one.

Anyways, I just...really need to vent right now. I have been working towards my goal of Lucid dreaming for fucking MONTHS NOW. Yeah, since March and, barely had any. I feel like a fucking failure and my parents just taking every chance to belittle me is jut making me feel worse and worse. I know where the blades are in my house but, I refuse to do it. I think of going it but...I can't leave this story I wrote for that. I want to live it in my dreams. If only I could have, could make life be a bit fucking better for me. I ain't asking alot, I just want a damn Lucid Dream for crying out fucking loud.