so I'm 17, and homeschooled. moved cross country 3 times before I was 12, and left all of my friends behind. I live in Houston Texas, have a good family, lower of the middle class, and I am graduating this spring. I leave for Marines boot camp in 6 months, and I don't want to let my dream fail because I can't graduate. my ultimate goal is to be a commercial pilot, and be a husband to my girlfriend, once we get married, and raise a family with her. I have struggled with depression and self harm over the past 2 years, still hate myself for always being the weird one and never fitting in. I'm 6 foot 4, and pretty skinny. always against the grain of life, so I get heat from most everyone my age, although I talk with adults just fine. I don't want to sound like I'm complaining about my life because I understand I am extremely blessed to be in the situation I'm in, but if I'm being real, I don't know how I'm supposed to survive this. I'm still in algebra 1 because I never understood the concepts, and skipped 2 years trying to understand where I was in math. I have to do everything just perfectly right because of the expectations set on my by my family and myself. I always want to do my best, and be professional in everything I do, so failing at something is not taken lightly. I struggle with self hatred, and over thinking things. I plan my life to the last detail, and contemplate the meaning of life, God, and how to leave a good legacy. I am the oldest of many siblings, and I am very protective of those I love. I am a romantic at heart, but only show it to my girlfriend. to everyone else, I just get shit done. I like cars, guns, reading, and working with my hands. so I guess these are just all the categories I fall under, but as I am now in quarantine for the next 2 weeks, feel free to comment any questions you have. I am a very open person and would love to make someone's day a little brighter if I can.