I’ve posted here before. Nobody really responds. Maybe my situations too basic. Maybe people don’t know what to say or maybe there’s nothing to say.
i’m married and I would say happily. I love my husband so very much. But because of stress and health in the pandemic life it seem to change so much. We haven’t had sex in many many months.
I feel very stressed and very alone.
before the pandemic life was still stressful health was still a struggle. But I had a distraction. That distraction was a stupid unattainable crash. I am unattainable and he’s unattainable. But it was a fun.
but now because of the pandemic I haven’t seen him in weeks. I miss the distraction. And then I feel guilty because I miss that distraction it’s an awful cycle.
does he know he was an escape for me? Does he know it was safe I would never cross the line. I don’t think I actually want to I think the fantasy was much better than what the reality would’ve been.
but I’m stuck here dealing with grief trying to be strong and hiding a stupid secret.