So now I just can’t stop writing, like some strange damn addiction I have. It’s nice being able to just put everything inside my head on paper, I’m not good at talking to people, I’m a very awkward person and sometimes I’m judged because of it. I’m the first to sit by myself in a crowed and the last to leave a room. I make mistakes, lots of mistakes, I do things that don’t resemble my personality at all. I’m living as this fake me that everyone has grown up knowing me as but it just is not me at all. I say weird things in my head, things people would just shame me for, I make jokes I think are funny and do weird little accents but I can’t do that in-front of people. I like to sing and play guitar, I like to just be goofy when I’m by myself, but around others I can’t express.. it has cost me so many relationships, I self destruct, self sabotage, subconsciously but consciously make the same mistakes over and over and over. Do I like hurting myself emotionally? Is that a thing? Who the fuck am I..