a month ago
Time Spent- 32m
17 Visitors

Just fucking tired

I literally typed “help” into google and this website came up. I’m just really tired emotionally. I think about death and dying daily. I just want it to stop. I’m angry at a lot of things. Everyone is nearly oblivious to all of this because I have a really happy, friendly exterior but on the inside I just wanna kill myself. It scares me to type that but ugh. Just tired. I’ve been through a lot this year. It’s been the most challenging year of my life. I know I’m only 17 but it’s been shit. My mental health has never been so unstable, so poor. I’m really struggling. I do really wreckless stuff to try and distract myself. I’ve recently turned to alcohol and I’m not proud of it. I’m very self destructive, “fuck it, why not”. My first real relationship lasted one week. We broke up around a month ago. I’m struggling with trying my best to recover from a yet to be diagnosed eating disorder. I’m too Christian to be in the world but not Christian enough for my religion. I’m stuck in the middle. I’m scared and confused and lonely and anxious. It’s just fucking static in my mind. All my emotions will hit me at once and I just feel completely numb. I’m so restless. I’ve changed a lot. *static*