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Just getting this off my chest

Disclaimer this contains talk of sexual abuse


I don't really know how to begin but when I was younger I was molested by two family members on different occasions I dont really remember when it started just that I was young like maybe 3 or 4 I remember telling my mom what happened with the 1st guy but she didn't believe me because there wasnt fear or panic in my voice as I told her (I didn't really know how to show my emotions when I was kid through mid teenager, I was taught to hold it in so I usually only displayed happiness even when I was very sad) my parents eventually found out what he was doing and stopped it. If I'm being honest i dont really remember what he did and im not even really angry at him it is the 2nd man that i hate, he is the one who every blue moon i still have nightmares. Once again my parents found out what happened and told him to stop. my parents did not handle these situations well because they were still allowed to come to the house my parents just acted like nothing happened I always felt like the one being punished because I always had to leave the room if they came over (to clear things up I had other siblings that they would play with) if my parents were gone I'd have to stay in their room alone while everyone else laughed and had fun it just felt like a slap in the face. The 2nd guy though still tried to touch me even though my parents told him to stop but now that I knew it wasnt ok and that I could say no I would walk away and just stand next to an adult, I didn't tell on him because I didn't want my parents to take anymore of my freedoms away (they were really overprotective) but eventually I got older and it felt like my parents forgot because they stopped making me leave when ever he came to visit and they became more relaxed around him. I actually at one point thought I made it all up until he got drunk and

told me I lied about him touching me even though my mom caught him in the act, I was about 17 when that happened. I absolutely hate that guy so fucking much and what annoys me the most is that my parents forgot but part of me is happy that they don't have to remember such terrible events in all honesty this is something I'm going to take to my grave I just wanted to get it off my chest