just help me

hey, whoever is reading this, i appreciate you for taking the time to. i am not good at expressing my emotions but here i am, hoping a stranger will help me since usually to my friends, i am the one who helps them. i have been struggling for a long time now, getting out of bed is like a chore, simply cleaning my room feels impossible. I have had trouble eating for a long time now and sleeping is hard as well. I hate this feeling, i have really been trying and putting up a "front" for people. No one properly understands and it feels like i am talking to thin air whenever i tell anyone even a bit of my problems. Everyone i let in, betrays me or hurts me and it gets really hard sometimes. It makes me begin to believe i am the problem since everyone leaves me, hurts me or breaks me. I am a strong person. I try my hardest not to be weak. I have been through my fair share of bad life experiences and it has made me stronger however for a while now, i am breaking down. I feel like people are starting to see me. The real me and i can't do it. It's scary and hard and i know the advice i would give myself but i can't seem to take it. I'm struggling a lot and i don't know what to do.