just kinda lonely

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once again on here mainly because im lonely tho being called a stupid bastard that should drop dead at work doesn't help my mood... ive been entertaining thoughts of suicide again which isnt great obviously but honestly i know the causes of it.. its my lack of productivity and my lack of an outlet for my emotions and honestly this site only helps so much... i would go back to therapy but i dont have the time... usually i talk to a person that i trust and feel for deeply but as of rn i dont have that because once again ive been abandoned and tossed out like trash after they got what they wanted from me... on one hand i want to finally find someone to love me so i can actually talk about all the shit going through my head and so i can enjoy life have fun and chill go out spend money etc but on the other hand ik none of my relationships will last im mr fixit when it comes to girls and their emotions which sucks but thats just how it is which is fine ig it sucks and it depresses me but I figured eventually ill get used to it but honestly i came on here and saw the replies i got to my last post and that made me smile so thank you to those people

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