Just, listen please-?

I am a minor and i'm saying everything im saying is true. My brother is 17 right now and he has done horrible things to me that i wish to talk about. ive tried to talk too my Boyfriend but, its a sensitive topic he went threw too. im still going threw it but cant say, because it would tear my family apart and i dont want his life to be ruined.. i know, it shouldnt matter but it does because i hate him with a passion. Im a nonbinary (closeted non-binary) pansexual (not closeted) who has been threw a lot. i have ADHD, OCD, Anxiety, Panic disorder (NOT THE SAME), and clinical depression all diagnosed multiple times. ive been caught drinking at 11 because it..it felt freeing okay? i dont do it anymore but, it was nice and i felt okay for an hour or so.. My aunt said it was fine and she gave me my first one actually. my mother knew but, once i said i liked it and had a second one it went downhill... My father does weed in his car and my mother is dying with a kidney infection, migraines, body pain, and sometimes she cant move. She has very bad anger issues and so does my siblings and me, but ive been taught to mask.. well, everything i guess. im a middle child and am always put on blame because i have three A's and three F's. i dont have a freeing method because i suppress everything i feel, because when i talk its pushed down and when i try ot come out I'm too young with anything i feel or do, im trapped here. I CANT HANDLE IT! IM SO FUCKING DONE!! i- i cant..