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Just needed to vent I guess.

Ive been raped by men and women and my whole life ive been taught that men cant complain about life. Ive seen some hellish things and have had a gun held to my head more than once. I'm not afraid of a lot. Im not scared to die or to be paralized. Not scared of ghosts or boogie men. Not afraid of a single soul on this earth or beyond. My motto was always if you bleed then i cant be afraid of you. And like I said Im not afraid to die... Im terrified of dying alone tho. I don't want to be alone. Thats all i am anymore is alone. Its grueling. Please God, just dont let me die alone.

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Re: Just needed to vent I guess.

You won't die alone get out their and try to talk to people and I am sorry this is coming from a person who herself is scared to talk to people but I am happy I have 2 friend and they are great I don't need more but it dosent mean I am closed to the idea of having friends .And you know how I have those 2 friends because I tried. There were hard times for me at school and I have seen how cruel people can be also I don't like to interact much but everyone needs atleast 1 person in their life.

Being raped is the worst thing that can happen to someone so maybe you're having a hard time trusting people but you know what even though people are cruel they can be kind too you just have to find them and find happiness.And you can complain, you can cry you can do whatever you want idk why but people set this crazy high standard for guys,let people accept you for who you are. Also just a piece of advice when you talk to someone and you trust them and open up to and if if they do break your trust it's okay you can cry you can be angry but know this that it's not your fault they lost someone great. But don't lose hope get up let people into your life take your time trusting them believe in miracles they do happen sometimes when you least expect them.

And I hope I really do hope that one day you will be afraid to die because you're life will be beautiful and you'll find someone you'll wanna live for.ohh also try finding some hobbies engange in it helps you can be anything painting, stitching, quelling, dancing, singing,running, sports anything. Try hepling people maybe try going to Ngos it might help you as well. Love yourself people will also love you and if they don't it's okay you'll have atlest 1 person that loves you and that's you and that's the most important thing but I do belive that you'll find atleast 1 person other that you who will love you🤟🤟