I'm writing some things I'm dealing with, I hope you don't mind. You don't have to read this, I just need to vent a moment. Also, I'm not really a writer so my thoughts are kind of all over. These are the problems i cant afford to fix. I can't afford to fix my car. I can't go anywhere, to school, work, or elsewhere until i fix the problems its having with the tires/wheels. If it had been like the air conditioning or something small, i wouldnt be writing this at all, but it is actually dangerous to drive in the state it's in. I'm not even sure what's wrong with it because it was my BF who caused the problem...he said he would fix it...but its been almost 3 years since ive been able to drive. I feel like I've forgotten how at this point...I only get to leave the house when they do, qnd since they work it's not very often. I miss working. And I don't know what I'll do when I have to go to college classes in person...I can't afford to explore classes in college to see what I want to major in. I don't know if its common to switch majors and take an array of classes to see what interests you, but i only have a few thousand specifically for school. If I take one extra class I dont need or decide to change my major, I wont be able to afford to finish school anymore once my savings run out...it scares me so much and all I can think about is how i need to decide a major and plan it out to get it right on the first and only try I have...I can't afford to get help for my deteriorating mental state. I haven't talked to anyone outside of my immediate family for 5 years now...i feel so alone, but at the same time I have always been this alone, isolated...My family of 2 people, parent and sibling are hard to talk to. One is always busy and luckily escaped the shitty environment that I'm still stuck around. The other is so self-absorbed and would rather talk to their online friends than care about me. And their relationship with each other is completely shattered, so if I talk to one, the other gets horribly upset. All too complicated. And the bf i mentioned says things like "well just be happy" or "don't worry so much" like I hadn't thought about that before. I just feel so alone and I want to scream and take a backpack of things and get on a flight and go someplace else far, far away. To no surprise, I can't afford to do that either. I'm sincerely at a loss on what im supposed to do with my life. If I can't afford to move forward...what am I supposed to even do? I never really learned how to do life things from people who were supposed to be mentors/parents, and they don't know how to live proper lives either...I'm in my 20s and "life" is just passing me by. Every day is upsetting and never changing. I want to live and not sleep every day away anymore. I want it more than anything...But its just something I can't afford.