It’s my first time here, and I know it’s stupid. A lot of people have more problems and issues they have to deal with, things that are one million times more important than what a brat like me has to deal with. Yet here I am, just laying down here complaining. I might as well have the perfect life that only some people could wish to live. I have loving parents and siblings, a nice place to call home, a great education system. Yet I have the audacity to laze about and fail everything. I know I don’t have the right to complain. I get this guilt bundling up inside me when I try to. All I can do is cry. Cry like a stupid spoiled brat who doesn’t get what it wants. I don’t even know what I want. I think I want to live life, but no one can do that without trying first. I haven’t even tried. I thought maybe all my issues would be justified if I just blind myself with my trashy homosexuality. But it’s all fine if I just don’t come out to anyone. My weight? Yeah I get comments on it all the time from my parents. But just say I’m trying and the problem disappears. A parent of mine is racist towards everyone, and is slightly homophobic. But it’s all good as long as I ignore it. I want to do good stuff for everyone yet I can’t even act on it. It’s so confusing and I just want to stop. Sometimes I wonder why I even bother. Just to make others happy? Well what’s the point? I feel guilty if I don’t so I just cry about it. I don’t do anything else about it. I just cry. I’m so lucky to live this life my parents have given me, yet I complain. I know I shouldn’t, but I just wanted to have a chance to vent. Even on the internet. It feels like I’ve gotten a lot of weight off my shoulders. My problems have all been typed out and it feels a bit good. It’s just what happens after this that stresses me out. I’m absolutely worthless. If anyone has read this, sorry for venting.