I was like 11 or so when I went onto a site and showed myself to strangers on it. I would strip,play games, talk, sext and just about anything else you could think of. It didn’t start out like that at first though. At first I just downloaded a game on my phone an the purpose was you had to get the other person to laugh or smile but eventually people showed stuff on it. But the thing was I liked what I saw. I asked them about it an in return they asked if they could see me and all of me. They asked if I could do things for them... and I did those things. This lead to me going on other sites or apps to get more of what I wanted. The whole process continued for a couple years and the amount of photos or videos I sent to strangers all around the world I can’t even count. I think around my 8th grade or freshmen year of highschool I started to realize that what I was doing was wrong but I couldn’t stop. I was closeted boy who had no source of physical affection idk what else I was suppose to do.
I would meet people and for some id talk to for only a few mins then exchange photos but others I would continue to talk to until eventually one of us ghosted each other. I’m sorry if this seems jumbled or bad I’ve never written one of these before. But anyways. I’m finally 18 now. Graduating highschool in like a month. I kinda suck with writing but I’m just so frustrated with “the gay community” like we preach all these good things but the majority practice disgusting things. And WE LET IT HAPPEN??? Now some of these things didn’t happen to me because all of my encounters were online... but how is a 29year old talking to a 14 year old online sexting ok? How is a 34 year old meeting a 16 for sex ok? How have we as a community just turned a blind eye to this an say “Oh it’s different since there’s no other gays around it’s ok if that 16 year old kid sleeps with that older man to feel loved.” Again I guess I was one of the lucky ones an only exposed myself online but even so I feel like I can’t even feel anything anymore. I havnt even had sex but I honestly don’t even want to anymore since I just don’t feel joy or whatever other emotion your suppose to feel about it anymore. And love? Lmao. Only thing we got is hookup culture 🤩