we'll sit here angry at each other, we'll act like its all okay tomorrow but we both know it hasn't been the same. i adored you but for some reason my mind wanders. i feel like i don't have a heart anymore like so much of it was given to the wrong people for the wrong reasons. i was so caught up in my thoughts of what if and not keeping myself with you in the present. i should be happy now. right? moved to a new city, your city with intentions of things getting better. hours of anxiety until finally arriving. homesick and empty i spend my days waiting for you to get back and for things to finally feel slightly like they used to. when it felt like you couldn't live without me before i ruined it all that night. an innocent conversation that you felt wasn't. and you were right. i had feelings for him. we kissed and i felt like he could've been everything i wanted and hoped for in a while and i was hanging out with him and my other friends. but i love you. i loved that you were so naive about this and so hopeful when i was always cynical and pessimistic. i came all this way and left my home and everything i knew behind to see us through,like we said we owed it to each other. but now i know we're not the same people as we were a year ago. meeting your family and putting on a face like we aren't broken is breaking us more.