so i am going through a tough time in my life and i feel like its wearing me out. I feel like i cant and wont be able to live like this much longer. I wish it could all end. My husband is an addict we’ve done alot to try to help him. He’s become a heavy weight on my life. I just want to give up on him and tell him to leave and I’ve tried that but it doesn’t go so well for me. I consider him family so i would never do anything to hurt him but he takes advantage and abuses me mentally physically and emotionally. I try to understand him and i really hate playing the victim card but im really just trying so hard to not give up so easily and keep him on his feet because honestly if it wasn’t for me and his mom he would’ve already been in the streets begging for money or drunk and high in some alley, and i mainly do it for my daughter because she loves him so much. I dont want her to see her dad in the streets messing up his life because i still have a little bit of control over him i know it sounds bad but he sometimes listens when i tell him to stop but if he was alone he would be high everyday. We have two babies together and i dont know if im doing good or bad i hate to be in this situation. As a kid i never grew up around drugs or alcohol idk why i put myself in this. We’ve tried rehab, talking to him, giving him endless chances to be home and not kick him out but its so much i can take imagine waking up to fights early in the morning every day or almost everyday. I know its my fault and i can just leave him and get everything over with but the time that i have tried to leave him he shows up to my house makes a scene, hits my car, cuts himself & tries to overdose. I don’t want to call the police on him and tell them everything hes done to me because he’s family but I’ve gotten to a point where I am so depressed and lost idk what to do is it wrong to give up on him? Ive thought about taking my own life to end everything but i do not have the courage to end my life and leave my babies to be without me but sometimes i think they would be better without me and that maybe it would give my husband a reason to change his ways. I know i won’t hurt myself but the thought has crossed my mind many times. I feel horrible like im not a good mom that i should just walk away from him and let him do whatever he wants to himself but then i think how would u feel if u find out he has overdosed and passed away when i could of just kept him with me and try to keep him from that.
Re: Letting my thoughts out
Hi, i'm sure you are a great mum, when you were talking about the decisions you partly want to make, you thought about the children as well as you an your husband, we all go through dark times, I have social or generalised anxiety but my parents don't believe me.Please don't take your life.It's worth so much. Also, you aren't playing the victim card, it's okay to struggle. I personally was physically and emotionally and phicocolically bullied, it can be hard to cope. You are not alone in this. I don't really feel qualified to give you advice but I wanted to let you know that I care about you all. I hope whatever happens works out well.