Every day is a constant battle of contemplating suicide. My heart hurts. I feel hopeless, worthless, ugly. I struggle to get up. I spend most of my days in bed thinking of what a waste I am. I have two beautiful children and I feel I can not give them what they need. I feel they’d be so much better off without me and my negative influence. Everyone in my life would be. I’ve tried all sorts of depression medications, therapy, counseling, natural remedies, nature, meditation, yoga, everything I could possibly think of to better myself. I’m giving up. It feels like everyday gets worse. I want it to end, I’m ready for it to end.