i mean why we have to go through all of this ... why peaceful death is not an option everywhere ..... it's hard
i feel like i don't fit + i don't want to . i feel like i'm not the physical body , people assume i'm boring traditional guy but between me and my self omg i'm so messed up and what i show to people is just the tip of the iceberg and I'm sick of people don't understand my sense of humor .
i don't like to spend more than 1 hour a day with my family i love them i adore mom , but they r so stuck in the past and always talk about it , and it's ugly it's actually traumatizing but they r not aware of the fact that it was domestic violence and abuse from our alcoholic father ... my dad also cheap and i'm so depressed to get job right now , it's just two years left and i will graduate from college , i think i will take all of my documents and fly somewhere and seek asylum asap and start over new life , i'll text mom from time to time and my brothers and also my dad cuz i forgive him , i don't want them to feel guilty and i won't let them play with my head and won't tell them where i am ,, it's just will be small talk . if life got better then or peaceful death will be my option