I never really knew much about what life would be like when I was younger. I kind of grew up thinking my life would be something completely differently. Right now I am currently a junior in high school and I feel like I can't tell anyone anything because I lost a friend through me telling them stuff that I thought I could tell them. I just feel like when I tell people something they either 1. don't care, 2. They don't listen, or 3. It will just overwhelm them and they wont want me to be their friend anymore. when I was younger I thought that by now I would have a healthy relationship with my body I thought that I would be in a happy relationship with a boyfriend I thought a lot of things that didn't end up true for me. I just feel like sometimes in the world we lie to ourselves to distract us from something like me I try to sleep to get away from my problems or I try to do something fun and it just makes me stress out over it a lot more than I already did. I listen to music and it can make me cry sometimes or I will listen to it to try to cheer me up but it ends up making it just worse for some reason. People have always told me "enjoy your teen years its the best times of your life". For some people that might be the reason why they are happy because they get to go out with their friends but I love an hour away from my school district. My friends tell me that we need to hangout So I make the drive to their house but when ever it comes that they want to come to my house they say well how about you come pick me up and then I say like yeah I'll come pick you up and then they cancel and say they made other plans with other friends because they don't want me to waste my gas which i understand they are just looking out for me but when they say that they will drive to me they all of a sudden lie and say that some emergency came up and then post about how they are hanging out with someone from school. Sometimes I feel like I get used and it hurts. Sometimes I wonder why people intend on hurting you. My first boyfriend I had used me for my body and that's all he wanted from me He didn't really ever care about y feelings which sucks I know that this probably didn't really makes sense but like I said I'm only a junior in high school I just hope that if someone reads this I hope that this doesn't make them feel so alone. the alone that I feel right now. I hope this helps them not cry themselves to sleep like I do. I will probably write more explaining my life story but I don't really know I just hope this makes someone feel better.
Re: Life sucks
This is for anyone that has ever felt alone. I know sometimes it’s hard, it’s hard to talk without breaking, it’s hard letting the tears out, and seeing our scars. Some of us think that we are weak or that we aren’t strong enough, and most of us feel that we are so different that we are unlovable. It’s really sad to see that some of us fight this battle alone, the fight against ourselves. We cry and we push everything inside, we keep on hurting ourselves just to feel something. And on the bad days, we’d do anything to stop feeling altogether. We believe we are so lonely and so unworthy in our life, that we say that no one would miss us, but I want to take the time today and tell you that you will be missed, that you are worthy of this life you are beautiful, and you are strong. I hope that one day, you’ll stop feeling this way, feeling like you don’t matter.