this is bad :(
the love of my life is my best friend, we were so close until things became different. him and our parents think of us just like a couple, which aint bad, but there are times when I need my best friend, and I feel I've lost the best friend I have. I didn't mean to but got my frustration out at him, which wasn't that big of deal as we understood each other, this time it backfired bad. I was called selfish even though I was always there by his side. I stopped sharing my feelings for a long time, but nothing just gets better. I really love him and I don't want to lose him. he hasn't replied to me for days, I completely blame myself for this. I wish everything could go back to how it was. I really miss him, I really want to make this work. what in the world can I do? he means the world to me but how do I show it to him? we aren't able to really contact that often as his parents took his phone and we chat via laptop. but even if is active on laptop, he ignores me, I fear he disgusts me now. and honest I don't think of myself more than an ugly selfish bitch. I just wish my life went back to us being so close. we barely know each other. due to the pandemic we can't meet unless we sneak. I hope I'm able to make him happy again. even if it takes nothing in the whole world.