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life sucks

:(

i dont know what to do anymore, im so done with life. i always get mis gendered and dead named even by my own therapist, friends, family. it makes me so gender dysmorphic. its like this cycle thing, i get sad, get intrusive thoughts, get angry so then the only way to cope is to self harm then get sad again. no matter who i talk to i always feel like theyre judging me or not helping me enough (wow that hurt to say). like no matter who i try to talk to they always say 'mood' or ignore me, i dont think that they know im actually serious when i say im going to take my own life. and my self body image, wow dont even get me started. no matter what i wear, say, or do i always have some type of flaw, yes yes i know people have flaws but it really annoys me and makes me feel like people are judging me or like i cant do anything right. and i hate when people call me lazy too, i have no motivation for anything anymore, i just wana die.