Honestly, every moment in life is such a chore. People say that you need to try to live your life, but just survive. But how do you actually succeed in doing that? Because it seems as though in every moment you wake up for, all you do is learn and work . You spend years at school, collecting knowledge you don’t actually care about in hopes it will help you in the future. But all it does it grant you a job. A job which you may suck at. A job you may hate. A job you may not profit from. A job which is your only value in life. We all wake up, only to throw ourselves into a useless cycle which we repeat until our last dying breath. Even then, your last breath could be taken any day, but the outcome would be the exact same. Some family and friends would get sad and mourn their loss, but in the end, they all move on- move in to do better things... without you. Because we are all insignificant in the end. We could live for a few more days or a few more years, but you would have achieved the exact same thing. Because let’s face it, very few achieve great accomplishments which deserve to be remembered. And in the end, I won’t be one of those people. Yes, you may have done some good deeds, or been a good support system for someone, but in the end, they will be the only ones who remember you for that. To everyone else, you will just be another name on a gravestone. To everyone else, you will just be another statistic of a moment in history, an empty smile in the pictures people decided to keep of you. One day, you will no longer be in this world, and one day, no one will care that you were ever there to begin with. Because in the end, your existence is insignificant, and everything you do will not matter- because everyone you achieve can easily be done by anyone else. So unless you put yourself out there. Do big things. Achieve what you never though possible. Have you really lived? Or are you just surviving; if you could even class days when you could pass as a ghost as surviving.Some days I do consider just ending it all, but I fear death. And that sucks. The fact that I don’t want to continue living but I’m also scared to die; then again, everyone has to die eventually, so why not just do it a bit earlier? But, the truth is, I want to see what I can accomplish. I want to see the world and the things it can offer. And while I may not be about to experience it straight away, one day I hopefully will.I’ve already got into some pretty bad habits, for example, I started cutting my wrists last week. I was a bit worried that my parents would notice, but they didn’t, and that just makes me want to try again. Keep going and see how far I can get before someone takes notice. But even when they do, I’ll probably still do it. Because in that moment, when I felt that pain, all I felt was relief, because it was as though my brain was forgetting about all of its worries for at least a small moment in time. I don’t really know where this is going, for now, I might try to just go along with whatever life throws at me and try my best to live.