Since I has a kid I've always felt different to other... Yes, I know everyone it different but I don't know, is like even within this differences there is always a pattern or a fundamental thing that just makes me feel everybody is the same. I don't think Im a good person... even tho I do good things. There's a darkness inside my head, I can feel it. I have lied to all the people in my life. I have manipulated a lot of people in my live. And no one knows about it. At first it was just to see how far I could take it but know it is in almost every part of my life. I know is not OK. That's one of my many flaws. Ever since this pandemic started I've been thinking and I got to the conclusion that I need to stop and in going to stop... I'm going to stop lying to get what I want I going to stop getting into other people head. I've lost my best friend because of this, I think she knows a bit of what I did to her head. I tried to make her think she was in Love with me. A lot of people started to believe it even she and her boyfriend (they break up because of me). I loved her and still do... And I'm glad she's out of my life so I can't hurt her with my lies and manipulations. We stop talking a over a year ago and I haven't loved anyone ever since because I think I need to fix myself, and get myself on a clear path. I said I think I'm not a good person and I know that for sure because I don't feel guilty for my actions, maybe I regret them... But a I don't feel bad. I need to admit it hurt a lot when we stop talking, I thought about killing myself because I couldn't bare the idea of not having her in my life.Maybe I'm a sociopath or something and the truth is I don't what to know. That would be to real. I would be to conscious and in other to don't hurt anyboby I think I would get myself away from every relationship I have with the people in my life. I'm not a good person but I want to be one.