I don't like affection anymore. It irritates me. Holding hands makes me Claustrophobic. Hugging makes my insides bowl. Cuddling feeling like an itch you can't itch. I no longer want slow romantic love making. I want hate sex. The sex that's only about sex. Because I dont want to feel your emotions. Please dont look me in my eyes. Please dont compliment smile, it's not a real smile. My laughter isn't actually laughter, I lost that along time ago. And my face is just my mask that I put on so you dont get offended by my annoyance of being around you. I want to grow old being a single, bad ass mom. teaching my daughter, a significant others love isn't everything in this world. And having gratification from others is not what's gonna make you happy when you go to sleep baby. So I'm putting on my lonely pants and rocking my life into my 80s. Where I'll find my self a sweet old lady to kiss me on my last breath for one last heartbreak because this bitch isn't dieing alone. I'm living alone.