I wake up my heart beating, shallow breathing and a sense of overwhelming doom. Panic attack, maybe or my body telling me today is another one of those days. Tread lightly, don't say the wrong thing, don't roll your eyes unknowingly, be careful of your tone, watch every movement in your body language. I don't know which personality I may get that day. Most days I can tell by the darkness in his eyes when I wake up. Those are the worst days. When I know it's coming, just not sure what the minor thing will send him over the edge. Do I mean anything to him? We have nothing left between us, no affection, no love. Why am I here? The man who used to look at me like I was the only thing that mattered, who cooked for me just to watch my reaction, told me how gorgeous I am and how I changed his life, he's gone. That man I long for. I see glimpses of him and poof he's gone. I watch him sleep and I pray (even though I don't believe in god) that he will wake up that man I fell so deeply in love with. All I want is to feel that love again, see the love in his eyes. It's a horrible feeling to feel completely alone while sleeping next to the only thing you want in this world.