Living has become a chore. I no longer live for myself, but for others. My friends and my family members that can't bear to see me part, I live for them. I don't live for myself. I utterly hate myself. I can't stand the sight of myself when I look in the mirror anymore, and neither do I recognize it. If it were up to me, I would've ended it some time ago. I feel as though I am being forced to live just to make others happy. What they don't know is that I dread every new day. Every time I wake up from sleep, I am miserable. I feel full of regret from not having committed suicide. My life has no meaning other than to make others happy, so I feel as though I have no choice. I am stuck between wanting to make myself happy by ending it or by staying alive to make them happy. I have been told if I were to kill myself, it would be selfish of me. So, I see I have no choice but to stay alive. To stay alive and feel empty, dreading every minute and waking moment- just doing the mundane activities of day to day life. But if that makes them happy, I guess I have no choice.
Re: Living is a Chore
try telling someone about it. Take a minute to say three things you love about yourself. get some free time and please do things you like or used to like. Remeber that its normal to feel empty, sad, depressed and alone. Im sure you are an amazing person. take care of yourself.
hope it gets only better and enjoy the little things in life.