Living with guilt

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I am 15 and I did something horrible. That not only ruins the relationship between my father and I but between the person I did it to. I did it, but I don't understand why. I keep a 4.0gpa, play games/sports but I still did it and can't take it back. I thought coming clean about it would get rid of this gut feeling but it's still there. Food doesn't seem appetizing anymore and I can't look anyone in the eye. Life just doesn't seem worth it anymore. I can't take it back and can't talk to friends about it like normal stuff. With "normal stuff" meaning being friendzoned, getting int trouble, cheating on that math test. But this is no where near that. With Covid I'm lucky I don't have to leave the house. I think of everyone all the experiences I've had in my short time on this earth and see all the people I touched but now if this comes out my life will never be the same. I know I could just move on but the guilt is nauseating and I sure everyone is going to know soon. it's sucks that my generation is growing up with the option of suicide, but now I don't even know. I don't plan on ending my life but at the same time burned my own will to live to the ground.

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