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Living with guilt

I am 15 and I did something horrible. That not only ruins the relationship between my father and I but between the person I did it to. I did it, but I don't understand why. I keep a 4.0gpa, play games/sports but I still did it and can't take it back. I thought coming clean about it would get rid of this gut feeling but it's still there. Food doesn't seem appetizing anymore and I can't look anyone in the eye. Life just doesn't seem worth it anymore. I can't take it back and can't talk to friends about it like normal stuff. With "normal stuff" meaning being friendzoned, getting int trouble, cheating on that math test. But this is no where near that. With Covid I'm lucky I don't have to leave the house. I think of everyone all the experiences I've had in my short time on this earth and see all the people I touched but now if this comes out my life will never be the same. I know I could just move on but the guilt is nauseating and I sure everyone is going to know soon. it's sucks that my generation is growing up with the option of suicide, but now I don't even know. I don't plan on ending my life but at the same time burned my own will to live to the ground.



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Re: Living with guilt

We are human. We commit sins. It is normal. It is ok. Even if you repeat it, it's fine, if you know you did it against your will or under addiction or something like that , u don't have control on. If u have realized that was not correct, you are on correct path, path of improvement. Just work on it today onwards. we all do horrible things. I have done them. But I took decision then that whenever I faced a person like u passing through the same, I decided I will forgive him or her and by doing it I will redeem myself.🙂

We all sin. Pray & apologize to God & it’s forgiven. How people take it is beyond your control. Your life can’t end over a mistake.

Did you know Jesus forgave a killer? That man later helped write the Bible.

We are all sinners, & we can all be forgiven.

Don’t give up sweetie. We all come here because we are hurting. But we also deep down have kind souls or we wouldn’t care. The world needs our little lights in it.

Please read this. Sorry it’s just a paste of my thoughts. I have bad arthritis & am very sick, do it’s hard to type.

Life was hard. But by my mid 20’s it started looking up. I married my best friend. Bought a house. Got a great job. Had kids. In my 40’s I met my favorite athlete ever. Nearing 50 I made a friend. They had music connections. I met a lot of famous singers. In high school I had a crush on a singer. Well i got to hang out with her in my 40’s. I watched my kids win academic awards. Play music. Win city; state, & even a national Title. At an out of state sports event i met an actor. He’s one of my favorites. Very cool. Ive owned a cool old sportscar; & a BMW. Ive surfed & dived. Hung out the side of a military helicopter. Helped build something that went to Mars. I got emergency training. Ive saved lives. I breathed life into a boy who turned blue. Saved a tiny girl. Had I killed myself Id never have experienced all of those amazing things later in life. I Love You. Jesus loves you. Please learn to love your self. To calm myself I watch comedies. I listen ro fun music; I sing & dance. I stare at flashing Christmas lights on my wall; or a lava lamp on the dresser as I listen to calm music or watch TV as I drift off to sleep. I hug a large pillow as I go to sleep. Who knows what your life has in store if yiu just have the courage to live it. My best moments were holding my wifes hand. Our first kiss. My kids being born; learning to walk, & saying I Love You Daddy. You get to treat your kids the way you wish you’d been treated. Dont quit. Live this life. Stay in your seat until your turn is over. Then go to Heaven. It will wait on you. I Love You. Jesus loves you. Please learn to love your self. To calm myself I watch comedies. I listen ro fun music; I sing & dance. I stare at flashing Christmas lights on my wall; or a lava lamp on the dresser as I listen to calm music or watch TV as I drift off to sleep. I hug a large pillow as I go to sleep. God Bless

Online therapy. Talkspace.com $65 week. Maybe this will be a good site if dont want goto officr. I goto an office. Ive heard this is a good online option.