Time Spent- 8m
7 Visitors

Loneliness

I’m 18 years old and I have never felt any strong bond with friends. I’ve always been betrayed or ignored by people I’ve considered as friends. For a period of 3-4 years in school, I was completely friendless. I used to sit alone in class and no one would talk to me. This has happened a couple of times since. These memories still come rushing back and haunt me. I’ve never been popular in school(I was the topper and really intelligent so everyone knew me, but I was never considered cool). I’ve always felt unworthy, undesirable and out of place. I’ve never been in a relationship. In fact, none of my friends have actually been there when I needed them. Whenever I see the show friends or any other movie/show that portrays happy friendships or relationships, a part of me breaks. People always reminisce their time in school very fondly, for me though, the memories are seldom happy. The fudged memories of felling extremely lonely and betrayed, which I’m always trying to bury, come rushing right back. Idk what to do. Sometimes I just feel if I’m a repulsive person nobody wants to be friends with. The family is really supportive though, I’m super close to my mom.