I feel alone. I want companionship so bad but it doesn’t seem like anyone or any of my friends want that. Everybody’s focusing on themselves, which I totally understand. Everybody has their own lives they need to worry about. But it’s like nothing’s the same anymore. The vibes don’t feel the same anymore. Before I wouldn’t care about anything or how anybody thought of me. But now I’m just really cautious of how I should act. Like if I act myself, people are gonna be annoyed. & It feels like EVERYBODY’S annoyed at me. Yesterday really confirmed that when I felt like I was annoying someone who I thought was my close friend. But to him, I’m just there. I felt as if I was being kicked out or something. Did I get too comfortable? Probably. Did my expectations of how the day would go ruin the day itself? Maybe. The point is, I don’t know if I should completely distance myself from everybody & work on myself 10000%. No distractions. Or maybe get new friends?
I’m realizing that I’m too attached to the feeling of friendship & bonds. Today is gonna be the leap of faith I’m gonna make to just better myself & truly go with the flow of things.