It's so lonely here....I'm feeling like a failure outcast....there's no place for me here... everybody's so busy with their issues that they don't even see me suffering trying to ask for help....my family doesn't understands me....my sibling ignores my existence....my friends leaves my just because I don't fit in with them...nobody wants me...to be here..it's not like I wanted to be with them... it's just I'm here & I don't wanna die yet I really want to live but it's hard to breathe with all of them loathing me for being like this...I'm just trying to survive...is it wrong with wanting to live and feel alive.....I don't want to go outside anymore... just want to stay in my comfort zone yet I'm living this fucked up routine everyday feeling helpless and lonely days....even animes don't give me comfort anymore...i just wish live happy life yet I see darkness and nothing else besides me.....this loneliness is eating me away.
Re: Loneliness is swallowing me
You'd be surprised to know how lonely everyone really is too, everyone, even the friends you mentioned, at the end of the day no matter how many people you surround yourself with, it's just you and your thoughts. Feeling lonely just translates to feel dissatisfied with yourself and being unable to bare the thoughts, i think it helps to identify the problem in order to fix it, there is no permanent solution though, even after you get at peace with yourself at some point in life you'll feel lonely again and that's normal.
I can't tell you what to do, if I knew I'd do it myself, but I know for a fact that if my friend/family/ bfgf was feeling lonely and neglected by me I'd want to know, it's unfair to the people around you to live not knowing this. You're always more loved than you think you are, it's just harder to see on the darker days.
I wish you all the peace and love out there, and if it helps, know that a stranger who doesn't even know your name cares. A lot.