Lonely panic attack

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I was talking to my friends and I know they mean no harm but I feel like they never listen to me, and joke about things that hurt my feelings. Like they make jokes about my religion. Or completely dis my problems because my parents aren't divorced even though I have gone through things they could never guess I went through because I can't trust them enough to tell them. It makes my feel so alone all the time. So after I started crying and I was upset because of how sensitive I am, and I'm starting to get worried because I started to hit myself in the head and pull my hair because of how upset I was. Everything in my head just gets so mixed up and its hard to think, and the fact that no one listens enouhg to me for me to even try to explain my feelings is not helping

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