I'm so irritated and angry about this and I'm kinda embarrassed about it, so here we go igBackground info: I went to a pretty shitty Christian school as a kid. I'm not saying that Christian schools in general are bad, but this one was incredibly shitty: teachers showed blatant favoritism towards students and the curriculum was shit. A lot of students graduated/left the school (including me) realizing that the school didn't prepare us enough for high school or whatever. Kids were held back because of the teaching.I was looking though some old papers (my parents have kept like everything from when I was in elementary school for some reason) and I found out that in the fifth grade I took and IQ test (frankly I don't remember doing that but whatever). I decided to look through out of curiosity and I found out that my IQ is actually pretty high! Like, not high as in "supergenius" or whatever but high enough that it's significant. I kinda mentioned it to my parents and they were like "Yeah after you took the tests the doctor said you should be put in a special school where your intellect would be used to the fullest." And now I'm fucking pissed.They had the chance to give me a good education, to let me grow as a person and become an actually useful mind in society and they threw that away just because they valued religion more. I was fucking sheltered for so long thinking Christianity was the only "good" way of life and getting a sub-par at best education, only to shove me into the real world and have to relearn everything. To realize that no, life isn't black and white, the atheists and Muslims you demonize are not trying to take over the world or whatever, there is no fucking "deep state", and everything you fucking know is either wrong or incredibly outdated. I remember taking my math placement tests when I was moving to a new school, and being so confused with what was being put in front of me. Math was my favorite subject in class, and I thought I was good at it. Really good. It was something I toted with pride, but now I have to get held back because the curriculum was shit. Because my parents decided that it was more important to have me grow up a Christian than actually use the fucking brain I got. I didn't even end up still being Christian in the end. Now I'm just some dumbass having to catch up even after high school's fucking ended. Even before I saw this dumb IQ test, I'd given up being smart, deep down. This just shows that my parents knew I should've been somewhere better, and yet still did nothing about it.I asked them why they didn't put me in a better school when we already lived where there were even some public schools that were pretty good. My mom told me that "We wanted your roots to be Christian. And I don't regret it. The only thing I regret is not watching over you for longer."I'm so fucking pissed. Do they really think that the fucking problem here is that I'm not Christian anymore??? That because I've decided that I need more proof before choosing a religion, I've become a failure??? We had an argument around election day, and I slipped up and admitted that I'd voted for someone they disagreed with, and they were angry, calling me "dumb" and "stupid" and "a traitor to the family" and I'm so fucking done. I am so mad. I just want to leave but I don't know how or why. I'm so tried.