It upsets me, probably more than it should, when my long term partner says that he misses the passion and spontaneity of our early courtship. It was a whirlwind romance with plenty of feeling so I kind of get it. But when I look back at that time and review my behaviour I look like a drunk! The passion seems like some kind of fever dream.
But I love him with more depth and substance now than I ever did at the beginning. Now my love is secure and encompasses the life we built together, our shared experiences and personal growth.
For him to say so casually and glibly that he misses all that passion feels like he's devaluing what we have now. When I tell him that it upsets me to hear him say that he just shrugs and says 'I'm just saying'. What? What are you just saying? Is there something you want to talk about? Do you want to see someone else? Are we not passionate and romantic anymore?